Saving Jason
by michoct
Summary: After giving up his love and his son, Jason Morgan has decided he has nothing left and goes on a downward spiral. His temper is uncontrollable. Can he be saved before he hurts himself or someone else?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own these characters, am not afiliated with ABC or Disney, blah blah blah… you know how it goes.

I don't really have any beginning notes for this fic. Everything will be told and come out in the opening chapters.

July 2009

Chapter 1

Jason stood in front of the sink in his master bathroom. He rinsed the blood from his knuckles and winced in pain when he added soap to them. Both of his hands were swollen and already bruising up. He knew there was no way to hide the injuries but he knew that he made his point and the man would never go to the authorities. That is not what worried him. What worried Jason was that when he looked up at the mirror in front of him, he did not recognize the man staring back at him. His face was different, covered in a beard, but that was not it. Nor was it the small purple bruise below his eye from the one punch the man had landed on him in defense.

Normally Jason was the calm one. He was a thinking man that analyzed every situation, sometimes overanalyzing. Things seemed to be getting worse and he did not know how to stop himself. This man did not deserve the beating he got and had Cody not pulled him off of him, Jason was certain he would have killed him. Cody immediately took the worker to the hospital and told Jason to get home. Cody assured him he would tell the doctors he was jumped behind a bar. Reluctantly Jason agreed when something deep down told him that what he was doing was wrong.

He was a worker in the warehouse and made a snide comment when he did not know Jason could hear him. His comment was something about Jason being a loose cannon recently and said he should have stayed working for Sonny. That was all Jason needed to hear.

It was episodes like this that has been following Jason around for months. What started out as a slow downward spiral has turned into a freefall. For years Jason was the hit man with a heart, the enforcer with a soul… the reasonable one. That all changed with the flip of a switch. The switch was turned off on him and Elizabeth along with the switch on him and his son. Once the Russians left town he had nothing left.

Jason wrapped his hands in some gauze he kept in his medicine cabinet and made a beeline for the liquor cabinet. Tequila… tequila would give him comfort. Tequila would make him forget. Tequila would make him stop wallowing. Tequila would give him the warmth he needed and had not felt in a long time. He twisted the cap off and dropped it on the floor. The liquid warmed his lips and slowly warmed his insides as it flowed down his throat. As quick as he felt the warmth, cold again appeared in his body. When he finally pulled the half empty bottle from his lips he threw it against the wall on the opposite side of the room. Tequila… tequila reminded him of his Elizabeth.

* * *

"Jason!" he heard being yelled through the door of the Penthouse. It was followed by a relentless fist pounding on the thick, hard wood door. "Jason, I know you are in there!" she yelled.

His head was pounding. He stretched and looked around the room wondering how he'd ended up on the floor beside the pool table.

"Jason!" she repeated, still pounding causing Jason to wince. His head pounded along with each echo of the door.

Over past months he had gotten used to the hangovers. He had bought every bottle of his import brew within a 100 mile radius… and drank them all. Some days he even settled for the cheap college beers that tasted like water. Today's hangover was the worst. He pushed himself up from the floor and groaned in pain when his knuckles felt the weight from his body. They could have been broken but there is nothing that could have been done so he'd have to deal.

"Jason!" the voice yelled yet again. "Open the damn door!"

He finally reached the door and opened it half way. He rested his forearm on the side of the door and his other forearm on the wall, blocking entrance with his body to his luxury apartment. "What do you want Carly?" he groaned.

"You look like shit. What the fuck is the matter with you?"

Jason shook his head, "Just leave." He said coldly.

"That's all you ever say to me anymore. Jason we used to be best friends and now you won't even answer my phone calls. You have been like this for months and I'm worried about you."

Jason shook his head, "I don't need you to worry about me. I'm fine." He closed his eyes and groaned from his pounding head. "Now leave me alone." He turned and pushed the door closed but Carly caught it with her foot and kicked it open. Jason did not have the strength to stop her and she barged into the apartment.

"I will not leave you alone and you are not fine. Look at you, when is the last time you shaved? Who gave you that shiner? I am going to worry about you because whether you like it or not I care about you."

Jason closed the door and leaned against it. "Carly, I am not your best friend anymore. I told you that we should not have anymore contact. You need to be safe and that is the best way to ensure that." He pushed himself off the door and took a few strides toward the steps. "Now leave, I'm going to take a shower."

"No." she simply stated as she glanced around the apartment. "What the fuck happened here?" The place was a mess. He had obviously torn it up in anger. The coffee table was flipped over, the liquor cabinet was as well and a bottle of tequila was shattered on the floor in front of the fireplace.

"I was robbed." He shrugged.

"Did you beat up the thief? Is that what happened to your hands?" she pointed at the bandages that were halfway on his hands, red soaked gauze hanging messily from his hand.

Jason crossed his arms over his chest, "I don't need saving if that is what you are here for Carly. If you want to save someone, go over Sonny's, it seems like he needs it more then I do."

"He is Claudia's problem now. She can handle him."

Jason rolled his eyes, "Whatever Carly, just leave me alone." He said in a higher voice.

"I am not going away. I am not going to let you hurt yourself or someone else, this is not you Jason."

Jason took the first step and looked back at her, "You don't know me anymore." He said coldly in a low voice.

"I know you Jason!" she yelled. "You are the same man that saved me many times. You save me, my boys, half of Port Charles!" she screeched. Jason turned back and continued up the steps. She moved to the bottom of the steps, "You saved Elizabeth and her boys."

She did not see him wince at the mention of their names.

"This is not going to make it feel better… not feeling, you taught me that. It only makes it harder, sadder and more lonely." Carly said with tears in her eyes.

"You can let yourself out." Jason said, his voice cracking.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jason looked up from his invoices and saw Spinelli standing on the other side of the desk. "What?"

"Um, Stonecold, the Jackal wonders if there is um…"

"What Spinelli?" Jason growled.

"Are you ill?"

Jason grimaced. He was hungover and still annoyed about the conversation he'd had with Carly that morning. He really did love her and understood her worry. For heaven's sake Jason looked in the mirror every day and each time he looked less and less like himself. His attempts to stop feeling and push everyone away was turning him into a monster that he, himself did not recognize. He constantly told himself that it was the best for everyone else even though it was literally killing him. "I'm fine, is that all?" he grunted.

Spinelli slumped in his chair and returned to his 'jackaling'. Jason looked back down at his invoices but had lost all concentration. One of his first moves was to kick Spinelli out of the Penthouse. Jason had also fired him but when Spinelli broke down in tears and began hyperventilating Jason rehired him under the strict condition that he maintain his distance. They no longer shared deep personal conversations which Jason rather liked though he'd never admit it. Spinelli's work was also limited to extreme need only.

Since then Spinelli had taken up living on Maxi and Lulu's couch. He never complained about it and Jason had the feeling the Spinelli thought he'd eventually be invited to live back at the Penthouse. It had been about five months and besides the occasional run-in with Carly, Spinelli was the only friend from his life that he was still in contact with. There were no more conversations with Spinelli or Carly. No more friendly run ins with robin on the docks or random run in with Monica. All ties were severed and if he was honest with himself, his fight with Carly was the first real conversation, besides business, that he'd had in months.

As time went by he'd see Spinelli looking at him through sympathetic eyes and it would only anger him, causing him to snap at him. The boy would run away, fidgeting, but would still return for the next job he was needed for, never expecting an apology… not that Jason was about to give him one. In his life, Spinelli was the only one that truly knew everything he went through with Elizabeth, all the way down to the failed trip to Italy.

Jason looked up from the invoices he was not even reading and saw Spinelli doing the same. He was staring at his computer monitor but his expression was deep in thought. Jason shook his head and decided he should leave before he made the kid cry again. He may not show it anymore but he did still have a heart, a severely broken and fucked up heart, but it was there.

"If you need anything, call me." Jason growled and left the office, slamming the door behind him.

Spinelli slumped down in his chair, longing for his former confidante.

* * *

It was the middle of the day, scorching hot, so Jason decided he need to go for a ride… a very fast reckless ride he'd been taking almost daily. He flew down main street, weaving between traffic and came to a stop at the traffic light in front of the park. The street were crowded with people out on their lunch hour from work, Jason hated being on the road in town at this hour because of the traffic.

Without thinking his head turned to the park on the other side of the road and his heart literally stopped. He saw Cameron running on the path out of the park. He had gotten so big since he had seen him last, probably had grown a good couple inches. Then he saw him and he felt like an elephant sat on his chest. Jake was running… RUNNING after his big brother. He was nowhere near as fast and seemed slightly wobbly but he giggled as he struggled to catch up to his big brother who was now standing at the entrance to the park. If Cameron had grown a couple inches then Jake grew six. He was so tall, his blonde hair short and spiky on his head.

Traffic around him started moving but Jason did not notice as Elizabeth came into sight. She caught up to the boys and appeared to be yelling at them for running ahead of her. He missed her voice, her smile and her yelling. Her hair was slightly lighter, probably from the sun and she looked tired. For a brief moment he remember what it was like to run his fingers through her hair, to hold her… to be held. Then it happened, her head tilted in his direction and their eyes locked. Of course she noticed him, Jason never wore a helmet and not many people in town had a bike as loud as his. Her body twitched as though she wanted to move toward him but held herself back. From the distance he could see her mouth form the word "I" but before she could continue he revved the engine and the bike jumped into gear.

He floored it out of town, never riding as fast as he was at that moment. The bike whipped around the curves at record speeds nearly hitting the guard rails many times. He needed to get away, seeing her had sent him back to where he was 6 months ago, only more alone and more angry. He rode until the sun disappeared in the distance, until all he could think of was getting a drink because he surely missed his son, his Elizabeth… his life that never happened.

He ended up coming to a stop at Jakes, not exactly the best place to go if he was trying to not think about Elizabeth. It was on his way back to the Penthouse and he could not help himself. Jason sat at the end of the bar and Coleman hesitantly approached him. Jason had been in there about a month back and gotten into a minor disagreement with another patron. He still could not remember what the fight was about, something with a stool or something. "Jason." Coleman quietly greeted him.

"Tequila and a beer." Jason ordered without even thinking. He did not want the tequila again but the word just poured from his mouth before his head could stop it. He sat quietly at the end of the bar keeping to himself. He noticed a few women giving him the eye but paid them no attention. He didn't want any of them, no matter how easy. The only woman he wanted was the one he couldn't have, the one he would never have again.

His body was beginning to feel that familiar haze, the numbness that always seemed to soothe him, if only for mere moments. The hour was growing late and the bar started filling with the late crowd but one group attracted his attention. At a table on the other side of the room sat Robin and a few other women from the hospital. Jason's first thought was 'What if Elizabeth is meeting them.' He knew that seeing her twice in one day would send him into a tailspin. Before he could move, Robin spotted him and approached him.

"Well hey there stranger."

Jason looked over his shoulder at her and nodded coldly.

She reached for him, brushing her hand on his cheek, "This is a new look for you."

Jason shook his head, "Robin, I don't want to do this with you so can you please just go back to your friends." He grunted.

Completely ignoring his words, she slid onto the stool beside him, "Now you know me better then that, I know self-loathing. You were the one that helped me live again after I found out I had HIV. You were the one that talked me into starting the drug protocol. I can see you are hurting or angry, you can talk to me Jason."

Jason looked at her then back at his beer and shook his head. He took a swig from his beer and downed the shot Coleman left for him.

"Is it about Michael?" She asked and he ignored her. "Is it about Sonny?" Her question was again ignored. She reached her hand and rested it on his forearm. He pulled his arm from her touch as though it stung. His gaze was fixed straight ahead of him.

It was hard to treat Robin like that. She was one of his oldest friends, they had been there for each other through so much. This time he just couldn't let her be there for him, he could let anyone. He needed to handle this on his own. He needed to protect everyone and if treating them bad was the answer then that would be it… but he hated it and it made him hate himself even more.

Jason stood from the stool and shoved his hand in his pocket. He pulled out a wad of money and left more then enough to cover his tab. Trying not to look at Robin again he focused on the door and turned away from her.

"Is it about Elizabeth… and maybe Jake?" Robin asked him. His back was to her, he was about to walk away and he faltered. His body momentarily froze and without words she knew she had her answer. Without turning back and saying goodbye, he left.

Oh and I forgot to mention, Carly is going to redeem herself in this story. I am already starting to like her more after writing a few chapters. You'll see more of this in the next few chapters:)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"For the love of…" Jason grunted. "Will you leave me the fuck alone. What is wrong with everyone?" He growled, dropping his keys and brown bag on the desk as he stumbled across his Livingroom.

"Drunk again?" Carly asked.

"How did you get in here?" he grunted.

She smiled and raised her hand with a key ring, shaking it in front of him as he fell onto the couch beside her. "D-did you clean everything up?"

"Yea, it looked like you were robbed." She teased but it was lost on him as he wiped his hand down his face, scratching at his beard in the process. Normally Jason could hold his liquor and tonight was not normal… actually the past few months had not been normal. "You smell like a liquor cabinet. Please tell me you took a cab from wherever you were."

He groaned, "I had my bike."

Carly stood from the couch and looked down at him like a mother chastising a child, "So you endangered your own life. I guess that is better then hitting some poor old lady with that big ass SUV you drive. If you hit something it is only going to hurt you." She paused, "So is that what this is? Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"If I wanted to kill myself I have a gun!" he spat. "Shouldn't you be home with your sons?"

"Morgan is at Sonny's and Michael is sleeping over a friends house." She shook her head, "I don't think it is my parenting skills that should be the topic of discussion here."

He had his hand over his eyes and moved it so he could pinch the bridge of his nose, "We aren't having a discussion."

"You may not be but I am going to talk and you can listen if you want, I don't care." She moved a few feet to her side and leaned against the arm of the couch. "You know when Michael woke up in February I thought everything would change. January was hard, I could see you slipping into this… whatever you want to call it. But I let it slide, you had given up Liz and your son. I tried to be there for you but you started pushing me away… pushing everyone away."

She continued, "Then I got that phone call that Michael had woken up and was asking for us. Us… me, Sonny… and you. You wouldn't take my calls or return my messages. How could you not come see him Jason. You actually seemed to get worse when he woke up."

"CARLY…" Jason yelled and was about to continue but she stopped him and continued her one sided conversation.

"Michael called you, you didn't return his call. He came here and you didn't answer the door. I understand the need for safety but this is extreme. You can say hi and be cordial to people without putting them in danger."

Jason snapped. He jumped off the couch and moved so he was standing inches in front of Carly. "That's what I thought too Carly! Things still happened! Michael was still shot! I pushed Elizabeth away and Jake was still kidnapped all because I was weak and let her in. Emily is dead, Michael was shot, Alan is dead, hell even Sam was shot because of me! It is not going to happen AGAIN! It is all OVER! I don't care if I hurt your feelings or piss you off! None of you are going to be part of my life… this life EVER AGAIN! You got that?"

"You really are off your rocker, Jason! I should drive you right to Shadybrook! There is danger everywhere. You didn't bring all of this danger on the town, you have protected it. You didn't start the fire last year at Elizabeth's house! You didn't tell Sonny to go to the warehouse without guards, he made that choice! You didn't tell anyone Jake was your son! Shit, you didn't even tell me, Sam let that cat out of the bag. Jake would be a better boy with you in his life." she saw a flicker in Jason's eyes when she said his sons name. "Maureen didn't kidnap Jake because of you, she was the crazy one… but you saved him from her. Were you driving the car that hit Elizabeth and the boys last month when they were driving?"

His eyes went wide and his breathing stopped.

"You didn't know about that did you? Yea, some guy swerved around a deer and hit her car head on. They were fine but I'm saying there is danger everywhere Jason!" She obviously told him about it to get a reaction… it worked!

Elizabeth was in a car accident. The thought sent an ache through his body from his toes to his throbbing head. Emotions pooled inside him but he kept them at bay. In a defeated voice he whispered, "It's better this way."

"Who is it better for? You? Because no one else is happy. I'm not, Michael and Morgan aren't. I'm sure Elizabeth and the boys aren't. As much as I can't stand her, she made you happy. Happy in a way that I have never seen you Jason! Go back to seeing her in secret, something… as long as you lock your bedroom door because… Eww."

He'd heard enough. Jason reached down and grabbed her arm. He pulled her up so that she was standing and drug her across the room. Noticing her purse on the table he grabbed it and jerked the door open. He dropped her purse on the floor in the hallway and pushed her out enough to get the door closed. He locked the door and put the chain across. Since she had a key he did not want to take any chances.

Turning back to the desk, he retrieved the brown bag and pulled a fresh bottle of tequila from it.

"Jason, I'm not going away! I'm not going to let you do this!" Carly yelled through the door.

Jason twisted off the cap and took a long swig from the bottle.

"Because I love you, we all love you and are not going to let you push us away to what… to save us? Puh-lease! It is not your job to protect us Jason!"

Jason took another mouthful, waiting for the warmth that he knew would not come.

"Fine, I will leave but I will be back. I think I need to pay Elizabeth a visit first. She loves you Jason, we all do."

Jason pulled the bottle from his lips and took two long strides back to the door. He fumbled with the chain lock and the deadbolt. By the time he managed to reopen the door, Carly was gone.

Jason slammed the door shut and replaced the two locks. He slid his body down the door till he was sitting on the floor with his back to it. Carly can't go to Elizabeth, she just can't. He knew that he could not deal with seeing her.

She had been in a car accident. He wondered if anyone was injured and pushed the urge to go to her house from his mind. Over the past many months he had driven toward her house only to turn off at the last minute. He could not bring himself to go there and not go in, not see her. Still having the bottle of tequila in his hand, he removed the cap and tossed it across the floor. A minute or two later the bottle was empty and it followed the path the cap had taken. He stayed sitting for a while as his mind recounted the conversation he'd just had with Carly. He wished people would just let him be and listen to him. He was doing this for them, to protect them. Of course he was a wreck, he couldn't let everyone go and it not effect him. It was out of his control, he could not control his anger and self-destructiveness. It was as though something had taken over him, but these were his choices, his life.

A while later he finally pulled himself off the floor and looked around the apartment. Carly had cleaned the place up, placing all of the furniture back in it's original positions. Jason stumbled over to the liquor cabinet and kicked the side with his motorcycle boot. The cabinet flipped forward with a loud thud. He moved to the coffee table and once again flipped it over. Still not satisfied he looked at his couch. He'd shared kisses and conversations with Elizabeth there. She'd laid on it wrapped in nothing but a thin blanket. The images rushed his mind and he bent down, grabbing the bottom. Easily, he flipped it with such force that part of it ended up hanging off the pool table behind it.

He moved toward the small chair Carly had just been sitting in when something caught his eye. The picture he had flipped down months ago was again standing up on his mantle. Emily, Michael and Morgan all smiled at him. Carly must have fixed it and he sighed. His eyes went to the closet behind the door that houses his gun box. Behind the gun box was another box with all of the pictures of Elizabeth and his son that she'd given him. His body, moving on its own carried him to the door to the closet but he couldn't find the strength to reach for the door knob. "FUCK!" he yelled as his hand formed a fist and he punched the door, putting a hole right through it and further injuring his bruised and damaged knuckles. Finally he stumbled up the stairs to his room.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Well I see you finally decided to grace me with your presence. My time is billable and believe me, you will be charged for the forty-five minutes I have been sitting here waiting for you." Diane sassed.

Jason waved her off with his hand, "Whatever."

"Since we are on the subject I am going to give you advice, part legal and part personal… so it is billable." She smiled and Jason sat at his desk. "Stop being a stupid man! I don't know what is going on but ever since you had me take care of those items for your son and his mother you have turned into a self-destructive, juvenile… pig of a man. For god's sake Jason, shave!"

"I wish everyone would just leave me the hell alone. I pay you for legal counsel and anything beyond that is not billable. You are not my friend, Diane, you are my lawyer. I did not ask your opinion… nor do I want it." He spat. "Now, tell me about the waterfront property we talked about."

"It is no longer available." She stood from her chair and smoothed her hands over the front of her designer suit. She clucked her tongue and picked up a bottle of water from the minibar Jason had in his office. "I'm not saying all this as a friend Jason. I work for you and I cannot work for you if you are dead, so this is business. You are obviously on a self-destructive path and I value my current lifestyle. You pay me well, which I well deserve. That being said if you die then I need to spend even more money on a new suit for the funeral and have to go through the whole process of getting a new client, all things I don't want to deal with… well maybe the new suit, or perhaps a new pair of patent leather pumps from Christian Loubitan… Jimmy Choo…" she trailed off.

"Diane! Stop!" Jason yelled.

"Sorry, anyway… this is billable." She said retaking her seat.

He glared at her for a long minute before sighing. "Whatever, we are here to talk about business and that I all I wish to speak about right now, ok?" he growled.

Diane opened the folder in front of her and hat is exactly what they did. For the next couple hours they reviewed everything from his finances to business ventured he'd been looking into. By the time Diane left his office his headache was ten times worse then it had been when he'd gotten there.

He went through the rest of his meetings in a fog. He'd gotten used to going through the motions of his day. With the Russians gone for months and an agreement finally signed between his organization and the Zacharra's, which was being run buy his former best friend and associate, there weren't many confrontations or demanding issues. Since the agreement was signed there had been peace. Jason gave Sonny rights to Morgan shipping lanes with the strict orders that any shipments could not land within 50 miles of his territories. For months Sonny had stuck to the deal and had not given any indication of going against the agreement.

With the organization running well, it freed up Jason more time to think about things and fall into a deeper depression. At times he actually seemed to long for a dispute or breach so it could take his mind off things.

* * *

"Double." Jason said to the bartender and tapped on his empty glass. He had gotten it refilled countless times and the bartender seemed reluctant to fill it for him. Jason picked up the empty glass and waved it around before the bartender finally came over and filled it.

He was putting off going home, although he didn't know why. Perhaps part of him was afraid that Carly would be there again, maybe part of him thought his place held too many memories. Every room had a memory of Elizabeth, even Spinelli's room held a vivid memory from the night they made Jake.

Shaking his thoughts from his mind he threw back the tequila. Perhaps drinking this particular type of alcohol was self-torture in itself because it, too, brought back memories of that night. Jason lifted his glass in the direction of the bartender again. ""Make it Johnny blue instead."

The bar he was at was sure to have some good scotch. He originally was going to Jakes but decided to go somewhere he was sure to not run into someone he knew. This bar was on his way home and most of its patrons consisted of out of town businessmen since it was across the street from the Port Charles Hilton… Carly's competition. Jakes was not the type of place to carry a two hundred bottle of scotch but The Attic… or The Cellar, whatever this place was called, was sure to.

The bartender again case him an apprehensive glance. He seemed to have an internal battle about whether to serve Jason another drink. Finally the bartender reached to the shelf containing his premium spirits and pulled out a small bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. He grabbed a fresh glass and poured a small amount in the glass. He placed it in front of Jason. "I'm sorry but this is the last drink I can serve you."

"Excuse me?" Jason hissed.

The bartender seemed nervous, "It's policy."

"Policy?"

"Look, I know who you are and I don't want any trouble. But I could lose my job if I continue serving you. You are obviously drunk and if you leave here and something happens I am liable."

Jason rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to crash my car, I'll call a cab. Just keep them coming." Jason growled and downed the glass. It dawned on him what the bartender said, what did he mean that he knows who he is.

He looked around the bar which was now extremely crowded then his gaze turned back to the bartender who was serving another customer. Jason rolled his eyes when two men dressed in business suits ordered what appeared to be a couple of fruity, girly drinks. The effect of the scotch was already hitting him as the warmth was felt all the way in his feet. The bartender looked in his direction and Jason pointed at the empty glass in front of him.

The bartender shook his head and turned away from Jason. He stood from his stool and yelled, "Hey!" as he tapped the glass on the granite bar.

After a few minutes he finally took a few steps in Jason's direction, "I'm sorry Mr. Morgan but I can no longer serve you. Let me get your tab."

Jason could feel the heat building. When he approached Jason with a check in his hand Jason snapped. He grabbed him by the collar of his fruity golf shirt and pulled the man over the counter.

"Pour me another fucking drink!" Jason growled in a low voice.

The bartender did not speak, his eyes could not hide the fear he was obviously feeling. Jason could not stop the anger. The one thing that he was asking for, he could not get. He wanted so much, there were so many things that were fucked up in his life but alcohol was the only thing he would let in, the only therapy he allowed himself to partake in. Now this asshole behind the bar felt like he can tell Jason that he'd had enough. There was no amount of alcohol that could be enough to soothe what he was feeling. The least he could do is try to take the edge off.

Next thing he knew he felt four hands on his biceps and he was bring pulled away from the stool. Two bouncers had come up behind him and drug him back a few feet.

"It's ok!" the bartender said to the two large men that were holding Jason. In a sober state he would have been able to take them both without either of them knowing what hit them but tonight he didn't have the energy to even try.

"He was just leaving." The bartender voiced and nodded to the bouncers. "Would you please call him a cab?"

Before they could Jason pulled his arms free and left.

* * *

Jason did not remember his ride home but he made it and that was all that mattered. His key was having trouble sliding into the lock. For a minute he tried to remember if he had asked Cody to have his locks changed but it must have slipped his mind because the key finally went in and turned. He drug himself through the doorway, pushed the door closed and looked up to see Carly again sitting on his couch. "Fuuuuck Carly!" he growled. The he noticed it, the couch was flipped back over and back in it's place as was the rest of the furniture. How could Carly do all that, he was shocked. Then it happened… it was all in slow motion. The top of her head came into view from the armchair in front of him, her long brunette hair, then when she turned her head, her beautiful, angelic face. Her expression did not disguise her emotion, worry.

Jason leaned back into the door and sighed.


	5. Chapter 5

So this chapter was originally two but I combined them into one really long chapter, sorry about that.

Chapter 5

Jason leaned back into the door and sighed.

His eyes were fixed on Elizabeth even though it looked like her body was swaying from side to side. She was beautiful, even more then before if that was possible. Her hair was down and hung over her shoulders, teasing the skin that was exposed at the top of her breasts that peeked out of her tank top. Her teeth worried her bottom lip, gently chewing on the soft skin. "Jason…" she whimpered.

Was that a whimper? He wasn't quite sure, maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. He tore his gaze from Elizabeth and looked around the room, they had fixed all of his furniture, flipping it back over and arranging it how it was previously. He turned and looked at the door to the closet, it still had a large hole in it. His fist ached just looking at it.

"I told you I'd go to her." He heard Carly declare.

He waited a few seconds to be sure he had his balance, he pushed himself off the door. He was satisfied that he did not stumble but he did not see what they did. He may not have stumbled but he was wobbly and his eyes were half closed.

"Get the fuck out!" he spat.

Both women stood from their seat and looked in each other's direction. They gave each other a knowing nod, "We aren't leaving." Elizabeth announced. Her voice was shaky but she was trying to be strong.

He looked at Carly when he spoke, "Stop trying to save me! I'm fine, I don't heed nelp." He did not even notice that he mis-spoke.

"It doesn't look like that from our perspective." Carly mocked.

"Well I don't give a damn what you see, GET OUT!"

He did not look over at Elizabeth but he could feel the tension coming from her body. Over the years he had developed almost a sixth sense when it came to her, he could feel her when he didn't even know she was in the room.

"J-Jason…" Elizabeth said but did not complete her thought. She was having trouble finding her voice.

He was standing in the middle of the room which was probably not the best idea. He took a few steps and leaned his side against the wall leading up the stairs to the bedrooms.

"My god Jason, I have never seen you like this before… you are drunk… beyond drunk. How much have you had to drink?"

His eyes bore into Carly and she now knew what it felt like when Jason tried to intimidate people with his stone cold glare. He could not answer her, even if he wanted to he could not even begin to guess how much he'd had to drink. It was at least a bottle of tequilla, some beers, the scotch… his thoughts drifted off for a few seconds. His hand moved and scratched at his thick beard.

"Your hand." Elizabeth whispered.

Jason followed her eyes to his right hand. His knuckes were covered in large cuts that were mostly scabbed. The skin around the cuts was bruised a dark shade of purple. Jason quickly shoved it into his pocket, wincing when he felt part of the scabs rip off from rubbing on his jeans.

"Jason…" Elizabeth said then cleared her throat. When she spoke again her voice was slightly bolder and harsher. "Let us in, we are here to help you."

"Help me with what?" he yelled. "I don't need any help, especially from the two of you!" he tried to speak in a cold tone but his words came out too slow. "I don't want help, I don't need it! Don't you both have two boys you should be at home with?"

The women both stood there with their arms crossed over their chests.

"Well you both should be home with your boys and not here with a dangerous, trainer… trained killer." He forced out.

Still, they both stood there, unmoving.

He looked at Carly, "I know why you are here, you miss having someone to unload all your problems on, I get it." Jason turned his head in Elizabeth's direction. "But why are you here?" he asked in a slow voice. "What do you want? You know first hand how dangerous my life is, the implications, the danger… I walked away so you and your boys can be safe, so why? Why would you risk that? Is it because you pity me? Do you want to help poor, lonely Jason? I don't want any fucking pity!" he yelled at the woman he loved more then his own existence. "I have done everything for you, for both of you. I have given everything up!" He looked between the women. "I have nothing left that I can give either of you!"

His words were harsh and he finally got a good reaction. "I don't want a thing from you!" Carly hissed.

"We love you Jason." Elizabeth sighed.

Jason looked at Elizabeth, his eyes locked on hers, "Don't!" he growled.

Elizabeth took a tentative step toward him. She knew that she'd have him if she got close enough. He knew the same. She could make him melt with one touch. He had to get out of there or get them out… fast.

She took another step, this time much braver.

"Stop!" Jason warned. "STOP!" he yelled.

He pulled his hand from his pocket and blood instantly pooled on his knuckles. He turned to the steps and looked up before turning back to the two fiesty women standing in his livingroom. "I can't deal with this shit anymore." Jason cringed because it was extremely rare that he cursed in front of Elizabeth but it was his way to get his point across. "You both need to get the fuck out! When I com eback down if you are here I'll call Cody to throw you both out!"

"Why don't you throw us out yourself?" Carly said in a mocking tone, knowing full well that he was barely able to stand and walk himself up the stairs to his bedroom.

"Why don't you throw yourself out Carly!"

Jason took a couple steps and spoke again without looking back, mostly because if he did he knew he'd lose his balance and fall backward. "Carly leave your god damned key on the table. I don't want to see either of you here again! GET THE FUCK OUT AND DON'T COME BACK… EVER!"

He stumbled into his room, fell on his bed and passed out within seconds.

* * *

Jason rolled over and looked at the clock. He groaned when he opened his eyes. His hangover was worse then usual, probably from the mix of tequila and scotch. The clothes he'd been wearing the night before were still on, including his boots. Growling as he kicked them off, he removed his boots then stripped down and climbed into a steaming hot shower.

He let the rough stream of water massage his tense muscles as his he forced himself to remember everything that had happed the night before. The bartender at the bar, coming home to Carly and Elizabeth… Elizabeth was in his place. He was sure he did not dream it, especially since it was rare that he even had a dream and when he did they were not the type of dreams he'd care to remember when he woke up. She was gorgeous, his chest tightened just thinking about her. She saw right though him. He hated that he was so weak around her, all she needed to do was get close enough and he was not going to let that happen.

His mind struggled to remember what he had to do for the day. He had a meeting with Bernie at some point and was pretty sure it was early. Grabbing a pair of jeans, he omitted a shirt so he could get a pot of coffee started. Over the past many months he depended on coffee to curb the hangover he woke with every morning. The morning was the worst, his head pounding and his thoughts unclouded by the effect of the alcohol. His mind would flash to memories of the times he'd spent with Elizabeth and the times with Jake, as few as they were. Those thoughts would haunt him throughout the day and he knew today would be no different especially after seeing Elizabeth the night before. He definitely was not prepared for what was waiting for him downstairs.

As he took the final steps he saw her. He paused at the base of the steps, not sure what to do or say as his heart threatened to jump out of his chest. His head turned from left to right, "Wha-what are you still doing here?" he stuttered out.

Elizabeth put the magazine down and leaned forward. "Did you think I would leave?"

He managed to shrug his shoulders and again looked around the apartment. "Where is Carly?"

"She had to go get Michael but she will probably be back later." Elizabeth answered and stood from the chair but did not make any attempt to move toward him. "And before you ask I don't have to go get my boys because they are with Lucky and Sam on vacation at the beach this week. They left yesterday."

For once he actually wished Carly was there because if Elizabeth had to be there then he preferred they would not be alone. His eyes squeezed shut, he had to be strong. This was going to hurt her but in the end it will hurt him worse. "I'm changing the locks so tell her not to bother coming back, she won't be able to get in. You might as well as leave because I have to go. I'll ask you again not to come back. I have a meeting that I am already late for."

Elizabeth shuffled her feet across the floor. Jason wondered if she'd been there all night or if she had gone home, he'd guess that she hadn't left since she was wearing the same clothes as the previous night. She stopped a few feet from him and leaned back on the arm of the couch with her arms crossed over her chest. "Stop resisting our help Jason. And you don't have a meeting today."

Jason looked at her and furrowed his brow, "I do have a meeting and I am going to be late if I continue to stand here and listen to you play guardian angel. Leave me alone Elizabeth!"

"Actually Carly called Spinelli to find out if you had any plans today. She had Spinelli cancel your morning meeting with Bernie." Elizabeth crunched her face up because she knew he was going to be angry. She'd told Carly that Jason was going to freak but she wouldn't listen.

"SHE DID WHAT!" Jason screamed, his hands fisting at his sides. "She had no right to call anyone and butt into my life and my business!" Jason reached in his pocket for his phone but it was not there. He looked over at the desk but it was not there either. He took two long strides to the desk and picked up the landline phone. He dialed Spinelli's number but did not get an answer. "Spinelli, call me as soon as you get this." Jason spat into the phone and then slammed it onto the receiver.

"Carly means well Jason, she just has strange ways to do things... which is why we are now stalking you. Believe me Carly is not one of my favorite people in the world but we do have one thing in common, one important thing to both of us and that's you." Elizabeth explained.

Jason turned his head to look at her. "I told the both of you that I don't need… I don't want any help!"

"We don't care if you want it but you need it and we are not going away." She calmly explained.

His eyes focused on her in an intense stare, "Why are you doing this?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Her face softened and her eyes sparkled, "Because Jason, I love you… I'll always love you."

"Don't say that!" he growled.

She shook her head, "I love you Jason." She whispered as she took a step toward him.

"Elizabeth, don't say that… it doesn't matter anymore!" he yelled and stepped around her.

He had to get out of there but first had to go find his phone and keys… and put a shirt on. He took the first step up the stairs when she spoke again, "It does matter, it matters to me. Do you still love me, Jason?" Elizabeth hesitantly asked.

Jason ignored the question and finished up the steps taking them two at a time. He sat on his bed for a few minutes and took in a few deep breaths before going back down. He knew she wouldn't leave yet, she still had more to say and as much as it felt good to hear that she still loved him, it stung at the same time. It truly didn't matter anymore, that part of their lives was over and he was trying his damnedest to make sure of that. If calming down the drinking and putting up the appearance that everything was fine was the way to fix it then he would do that. No more getting drunk or displaying destructive behavior. He'd do that if it got them both away from his again and safe. He had to find a way to get through this alone, it angered him that he was acting like such a girl sulking.

When he returned downstairs she was still down there but she had her purse in her hand and a determined expression on her face.

"I need to go home and take care of a few things but listen to me before I go. You need to get yourself together. This is not the Jason I know." She motioned her hand along the length of his body. "You have a decision to make. I have decided to go public with Jake's true paternity and I am going to need you to be there beside me… to protect us."

His stomach tightened, "You wouldn't put him in danger like that."

Elizabeth shook her head, "No, I wouldn't… I know you will protect him. Would you put him in that kind of danger and not be there when we need you?" She walked passed him and opened the door but turned back to him to say more before she walked out. "I've never seen you so self destructive before, you need to take care of yourself. The Jason Morgan I know and love is not a coward hiding from the world and does not pull this shit. For the love of god stay away from the liquor store. Buy a razor and shave your damn face and be the man I fell in love with and made a perfect little boy with."

She hesitated and continued, "Yes Michael was shot and Jake was kidnapped. Now Jake will be known publicly as your son. Don't you DARE leave our son unguarded. I WILL be back." She closed the door behind her leaving Jason stunned.

His feet were glued to the floor, at least they felt like they were. He wondered if she was bluffing but deep down he knew that she would not bluff, not when it came to her boys. She really would tell people that he was Jake's father. That was going to happen over his dead body!

* * *

Thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback! I love it! I am glad everyone likes this story so much.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jason managed to reschedule his meeting with Bernie.

"If anyone ever calls you again and speaks for me I expect you to call me and check with the changes with me first."

Bernie packed up his paperwork into his briefcase. "Of course Jason."

Jason leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk. "And I'm not talking about just schedule changes. Anything having to do with business, if I say one thing then my orders are firm unless you hear directly from me otherwise."

"I understand. I am sorry for the communication issue. Please don't be mad at Spinelli, we both know how Carly can be." Bernie stood and buttoned his suit jacket. "May I ask why she did that?"

"No!" Jason hissed.

"Fair enough."

"Just make the money transfers we talked about and let me know when you can get your guy out to change my locks. Otherwise, I will talk to you Friday once the shipments arrive."

Bernie hesitated, he looked like he wanted to say more but he didn't. Instead he turned and left. Jason leaned back in the chair and sucked in a deep breath. So many things had happened that got him into his position and he had no clue how to get out of it. Once he left for the day he opted to avoid the local bars. He stopped at the liquor store and found that they had gotten a shipment of his import beer in. He bought only a six pack to limit how much he would drink and headed home.

He let out a sigh of relief when he walked in and there was nobody there waiting for him. His beer took its place in his empty refrigerator and he went upstairs to take out his aggression and frustration on his sand bag. With his knuckles already injured, he wrapped his hands. Dressed in a loose fitting pair of black sweatpants and a black 'wife beater' tank top, he went to town on the punching bag. His fist repeatedly connected with the bag, beating it until the white tape he'd covered his hand with was soaked with blood. Sweat dripped down his back, stopping when it met with the top hem of his shirt.

Out of breath and exhausted, Jason took a quick shower and wrapped his hands in gauze. He pulled on just a pair of gray sweat pants and made his way to his waiting six pack of beer. Letting out a slight groan because of his aching muscles when he fell back on the couch, he kicked his feet up and took a long swig of his beer.

He got a few mouthfuls of beer when he heard a click come from the door. _'Fuck'_ he thought.

In strutted Elizabeth. She instantly flashed him a devious smile and tossed her purse and a brown bag on the desk. "Carly made me a copy of her key because she had to stay home with the boys."

Jason flipped his head back and stared at the ceiling as she fluttered toward the couch. She seemed to be in a good mood and it only frustrated him more.

"I know you don't like it but I am not going away. Truthfully it makes me feel really good that Carly realizes how much we mean to each other and feels I am the one that should be coming here to be with you." She voices as she sat on the couch beside him.

"That you are the only one that can save me?" he growled. "Give it up. The locksmith will be here tomorrow hopefully and if he isn't I'll move and I won't tell anyone where I am."

Elizabeth shook her head, "Nope, you wouldn't do that because you need to be here to protect our son."

He lifted his head, "No I won't because you are NOT telling anyone about Jake."

"If that is what it takes that I am willing to do it. I was willing to come forward before and things seem even more stable now. I know you would never let anything happen."

"NO! It is not safe, it will never be SAFE Elizabeth!"

She flashed him a sympathetic look and it frustrated him further. "Jason, I am not happy… actually I am miserable. You, obviously, are miserable and I like to think that if we were together, me, you and the boys, that we'd be happy again." She stood and grabbed the bag from the desk. Returning to sit beside him, she pulled out two containers and two spoons. "I figured you probably hadn't eaten, you are looking thinner… not that you have any weight to lose." She let her eyes glance over his shirtless body then cleared her throat and continued. "So you need some food to keep up that good physique."

Opening one of the containers, she handed it to him along with a spoon. "Soup, I hope you don't mind."

Jason looked over at her and weakly took the container. "I'm not hungry."

"Humor me."

He sighed and sat up. She was wearing him down and she knew it which only frustrated him more. The soup did nothing to help his situation. It brought back memories of the times at her studio when she'd cared after him while he recovered from his multiple gunshot wounds. They ate their soup in tense silence, both knowing that the other was reminiscing on those times.

"I miss this Jason." Elizabeth expressed as she placed her empty container on the table. "I miss us."

He shook his head, "I can't do this again Elizabeth." His voice and eyes were tired and full of emotion. "I-I can't go through losing you again, and Jake. I know it would end up the same and just…" He sighed and scratched at his thick beard. "I can't do it again."

He looked over at her for a quick second, long enough for her to see the water filling in his eyes. "You know if would Elizabeth. I don't think either of us can go through it again."

She reached her hand out and bushed her hand through his long hair. His hair was longer and no longer short spikes. Her fingertips brushed along his cheek and down his jaw. His eyes closed and he involuntarily turned his head into her hand. "Just humor me a little longer." She whispered then turned with his hand firmly held in hers and walked toward the steps. Elizabeth led him up the stairs, down the hallway and into his bedroom. She walked them past the bed and into his bathroom. "Sit." She said pointing to the toilet.

She did not release his hand until he was sitting. "Elizabeth" he managed to whisper but his voice could not work beyond saying her name. All anger, frustration, sadness and other emotions kept him from moving as he watched her move around his bathroom. She gathered a few items and started the sink water running until it ran warm.

"You need to stay very still so I don't cut you." She voiced holding up one of his triple blade razors that hadn't gotten use in months.

"I.." he started to say but gave up the fight and let her continue. She filled her palm with thick white cream then covered his thick whiskers.

"Should I have trimmed it down first?" she asked curiously. He shook his head and she ran the razor under the warm stream of water. With light pressure, she shaved a line down his cheek, ending at his jaw line. He sat immobile as she methodically cleared his skin of the itchy hairs. It was an agonizing process for him to sit through. The entire time he was fighting the urge to kiss her and hold her. He could not in good conscience get involved with her again, no matter how much he wanted to.

After ten tension filled minutes she was done. "Not bad for my first time, if I may say so myself." She praised herself while she wiped a warm, damp towel down his face to remove the excess shaving cream then followed it with a dry one. She stood in front of him and admired her work then bent her head down. His heart sped up excessively as her face moved toward his. He could not find the strength to move away yet his head was telling him to get out of there right away. Gently, she brushed her cheek against his and sighed, "I missed this. I missed how you feel." She said it so softly that he'd barely heard her but it made his chest tighten.

"Elizabeth." He said but his voice came out hoarse. He could feel her breath on his ear and it sent his senses into a tailspin. Once kiss, he told himself then quickly tossed the thought out of his head.

She slid her face back a few inches and brushed her lips against his cheek. The touch of her warm, soft lips on his cheek and the feel of her warm hands on his bare shoulders broke his resolve. His hands reached out and brushed against her calves. She was wearing capri pants leaving a small area of skin exposed. He allowed himself one touch, one more memory of how she felt.

He breathed in her scent as his hands caressed the smooth skin, inching her pants higher until he reached her knees. Then just as quick as it started, she was gone, standing back tall in front of him. She again offered his hand and he took it, with less reluctance as his willpower diminished further. She led him into his bedroom and pulled back the large comforter on his bed. Following her gesture, he sat on the edge of the bed and she knelt in front of him to remove his boots. Placing them beside the bed, she stood back up and moved around to the other side of the bed, removing her own shoes then climbing in. "I'm not asking for anything tonight, Jason. I just want to sleep."

Jason knew that it was now out of his control. Something else had taken over him and allowed him to have her… for just one night. He knew he would hate himself tomorrow but, then again, that would be no different from any other day. Letting out a silent sigh, he laid back to rest his head on the pillow. She instantly rolled into him and rested her head on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around her back and his other arm around her waist.

"Good night Jason." She whispered.

"Night." he murmured before they both fell into a sound sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Jason could feel her hair brushing against his arm. Her head was nestled into the crook of his shoulder with his hand resting on the small of her back. He wanted nothing more then to go back to sleep and stay there with her forever. Eventually he opened his eyes and looked down at her. Her arm was resting across his chest and ended with her hand resting just below his shoulder. She looked like an angel, her lips slightly parted as she soundly slept in his arms.

An ache formed in his chest, a longing for what he wants but cannot take. She was no longer his, not that she belonged to anyone else. He could not allow himself to be selfish again, the decision had been made and he was going to stick to it even if it killed him in the end.

Slowly he slid out from beneath her and watched as she rolled onto her back, flinging her arm over her head in the process. A soft sigh passed through her lips as Jason took a seat in the chair across the room. He watched her sleep for a long time, the better part of an hour. This would be the last chance for him to observe her from so close, to be in the same room… alone. This time he would make sure of it. The time now was him having the goodbye that he did not allow himself in the past. Even with her sleeping, spending time with her and watching her would be something he could carry for a long time to come. Their goodbye that day in the hallway had been so draining to him, he had trouble looking her in the eye and definitely could not bring himself to even touch her without his resolve crumbling.

Peaking through the curtains, he saw the sun coming up over the harbor. Reluctantly he stood from the chair and made his way to the bathroom. He stopped in the doorway to look at her one last time, "I'll always love you." He whispered under his breath.

The shower was scalding hot, turning his skin red. There was something about the punishing heat of the water that made him feel better about allowing himself a night to hold his love. He knew that it was fucked up, that he should have kicked her out but he was weak. Her skin was so soft and when she touched him it sent his emotions into a tailspin. He would not allow that opportunity again, he had to prevent it because he knew that she could slowly break down his wall… she had in the past and it cannot happen again. He did have to admit that it felt good to have his face clear of the coarse beard that he had been unable to bring himself to remove and did not know why.

Finally turning off the steaming water, he pulled on a pair of jeans and walked out of the bathroom. The bed was empty and Elizabeth was not in the room. He hoped that she had left so that it would be easier for both of them. Sitting back in the chair by the window, he continued processing everything that had been running through his head for the past six months. There was no turning back and he knew that he needed a new approach. Of course avoiding those he wanted away from the danger would be key as it had been. He, however, needed to maintain a lower profile. No more bars, no more fights and no more self destructive behavior in public would hopefully keep Carly and Elizabeth from worrying about his well being. They would not need to know he was hurting inside. His stone cold exterior had crumbled in recent months and he let his emotions come out in anger.

A long time passed and it only brought him back to the fact that he needed to accept the live he'd chosen over a decade ago without knowing the long term consequences. He could not live a life of regret and only accept the path he chose. Being unsure how he was going to do it frustrated him even more because the one thing he wanted more then anything else was a life with Elizabeth and her boys.

He stayed in the chair for a while until he heard the door close downstairs. Seconds later Elizabeth entered the bedroom with a bag and two cups. "Morning, I got you a coffee and a bagel. I'm not much of a cook, which you know." She said as she handed him the cup of coffee. He carefully took the cup from her but did not speak. "You may not realize this but I needed last night as much as you did… if no more… so thank you." She voiced as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Thank you for the coffee." He mumbled as he took a long sip of the hot liquid.

She shook her head, "No thank you necessary."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before he managed to gather his thoughts, "Elizabeth… this can't, we can't…" he paused before continuing. "This is it." He whispered. She was about to speak, probably argue with him but he continued, "I understand why you did it, you still care about me and I have been in a bad place. I am going to work on taking better care of myself but you have to do the same… and that means sticking to the decision to stay away from me." His last word came out in barely a whisper, "Forever."

When he looked up and into her eyes he could see the tears pooling. He closed his own eyes for a second and took a deep breath as he shook his head. "See, this is what I did not want to happen. You are hurting again and that is the last thing that I wanted. We can't keep doing this to each other."

She shook her head as a tear escaped from her eyes, "No we can't and we wont. I'm not walking away again. I haven't changed my mind Jason…"

"About Jake, no, you cannot tell people about him. I understand why you did all this and I accept it. I will take care of myself and you need to do the same." He stood from the chair and walked over to where she was sitting, kneeling down in front of her. Every nerve in his body told him not to do it but he reached out a hand and cupped her cheek. Her skin felt like satin, "I will always love you… you know that."

Her eyes lifted and met his and she tilted her head into his touch. He could tell that she wanted to fight him but couldn't. He could only hope that she would accept his decision and leave it at this. "I love you too Jason." She choked out.

Her hands moved to his face and she cupped his cheeks, she leaned forward to kiss him but he stood up pulling out of her hold. "Thank you for everything Elizabeth." He voiced as he turned toward the door of the bedroom. "But this has to stop, no more contact." He added with is back turned to her as he walked out of the room and left the Penthouse, hoping she'd listen to him. What he did not hear was her mumbling to him that it hadn't been working so far and that she did not believe he was better.

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me." Jason grumbled as he wiped his hand down his face. He had once again returned home to find Carly and Elizabeth at his house. They were playing a game of pool, something that ordinarily he would have found absolutely shocking but in recent days they seem to have put their differences aside in order to torture him.

"Wow, may I say Lizzie, well done." Carly said clapping her hands when she saw Jason's clean shaven face.

Elizabeth did a half bow and placed her cue stick on the pool table, Carly followed and they both moved into the Livingroom and examined Jason who appeared to be sober.

"Do you both still have kids?" he spat.

"Oh stop, do you really want to know the whereabouts of our boys?" Carly said rolling her eyes. "Since you mentioned them though, I was talking to Michael and Morgan earlier. I told them I saw you and they both can't wait to see you."

Jason fisted his hands at his sides, "Damn it Carly, it's not going to happen!" His eyes focused in on Elizabeth, "I thought we discussed this. You both need to stay away… and why the hell has Bernie not gotten my damn locks changed yet."

"Actually you discussed it this morning." Elizabeth explained.

"This morning?" Carly asked looking over at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth ignored Carly's remark, "You left before I could say anything. You may think that this will work but it never did before for us, for any of us. You can't walk away like a self-destructive… shell, and both me and Carly… well we miss you."

These women were going to be his death, "You both are only making this harder on all of us. I don't know what else to say, I've said it all. I think you both should leave."

Carly shook her head in a firm 'No', Elizabeth just stood there unmoving. "You have accepted this life of solitude and unhappiness but you don't have to Jason. Don't you realize that the last name of Michael and Morgan is Corinthos. They are in danger regardless simply because of who their father is." Carly explained.

"And it is a matter of public record that you are closed to me, or were close to me. Do I need to remind you what came out in court during your trial?" Elizabeth spat. "Do you think that just because we aren't seen together that we would not be used as leverage? It could be ten years down the line and just on the long shot that we could cause a reaction from you, me or the boys could be taken… or worse."

"You both are well taken care of." He growled.

Carly narrowed her eyes, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that just because I may not say it, show it or you may not see it… you both have guards on you… at all times. They remain hidden in the shadows where they cannot ever been seen or noticed but they are there. So I have not just abandoned you both and let threats come as they may." He admitted.

"Why do you do that Jason?" Elizabeth asked. "Because if you ask me that is a contradiction. "You don't want to be around us because you are afraid we would be in danger yet you protect us from that danger anyway. Can you please explain the difference here because I am not seeing it. I see you making yourself crazy, quite literally I may add, staying away from both of us, two people that are supposed to mean so much to you." Elizabeth looked over at Carly. "Never thought I'd admit that did you." She chuckled. "Look you even brought me and Carly together… kind of." Elizabeth joked looking back at Jason.

"I can't win with you two!" Jason growled growing more and more agitated. "You both are only making this harder on all of us and I am not changing my mind. I am changing these locks myself tomorrow. If that still does not keep you both away then I will leave town, indefinitely… and you BOTH know that I will." He said before turning and storming out of the apartment… his apartment. This week he had been run out of his place numerous times and he'd had enough of it. They were not listening to him so he decided that it had to be left up to him. '_So much for not drinking_' he thought to himself as he got on his bike and steered towards Jakes.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Jason pulled into Jakes and sighed. It hadn't even been a day since he'd decided to avoid alcohol and self destructive behavior and he was already at the bar. What Elizabeth and Carly did not realize was that they were causing him even more pain and frustration.

Had Elizabeth just left that morning and listened to his wished he'd be at home relaxing and not walking into a bar with plans to get blitzed. Instead, the women had to show up at his place again, insisting on pushing their way back into his life. So far, he'd tried yelling at them, walking out on them and explaining his reasoning but nothing worked.

Upon seeing Jason enter the bar, Coleman placed a beer on the bar for him to pick up. Jason nodded a thank you to Coleman then moved to the empty pool table in the corner. He immediately racked up a game of eight ball and lined up the cue ball to break. The sound of the cue ball clacking roughly against the colored ones gave him a mild sense of relief. For over an hour he thought about nothing other then the current shot he was lining up or searching for on the table. The bar started to get crowded but Jason avoided any contact. At one point a group of college kids asked him if they could join in his game but Jason silently shook his head and then turned his back to them.

Coleman kept the beer coming, sending the waitress over with a fresh bottle when he thought Jason was ready for another. Beer did not have much of an effect on him as tequila did but he wanted to avoid the haze tequila had been putting him in lately.

Something made him turn his attention to the entrance to Jakes just in time to see Elizabeth walk in. She looked beautiful in her form fitting jeans, stiletto heals and green button up shirt. "Fuck!" he growled out loud. The bar was so loud that nobody heard him but he knew the instant he saw her he was in trouble. The green button up shirt that she was wearing was the same shirt she wore almost two years ago, the night they conceived their son. He closed his eyes and groaned as images of that night filled his head.

She spotted him right away and walked over to where he stood. "Up for a game?" She said in a husky voice.

Jason turned his back to her, "No."

"That's fine, I enjoy watching you play anyway." She stated then took a seat at the small table in the corner.

Jason stood there holding his stick, not sure what to do. He wanted to leave but the thought of leaving her there alone worried him. There was a big crowd and he had noticed how she turned a few guys heads as she strutted past them. "You need to leave Elizabeth." He barked.

"You are starting to sound like a broken record Jason. I'm perfectly fine sitting right here." She said as she tucked her hair behind her ears. As he leaned to take a shot, from the corner of his eye, he saw her pick up his beer and take a long swig. He missed his shot. "Are you sure I can't play too?"

Jason just cast her an annoyed glance and went back to his game. He'd stay until she was ready to leave and then make sure she got home safe, that's it. He'd left his place to get away from her and what did she do but go home, change, and track him down. "How did you know where I was?"

She shrugged and took another sip of his beer, "I guessed. It was either here or driving along the cliff roads like a maniac… and when I left the Penthouse I saw your bike in the parking garage so… process of elimination."

The waitress approached them with two fresh bottles of beer. Jason looked up from his game and saw Coleman nod to him from behind the bar. When she walked away Jason turned around and grabbed his beer from where the waitress had left it on the table. He took a few steps back and rested his back side against the edge of the pool table. "I need to know something…" Jason started. He took a sip of his beer then continued, "What is it that you want from me?"

Elizabeth looked at him but did not answer so he continued, "This started as you and Carly thinking I needed help. Fine, I have seen my problems and am handling them. What is it now? We can't be together and the past year has proven that. We've broken up so many times and it is not healthy to keep putting ourselves through this."

She stood from the stool and took a step towards him, "Who said anything about breaking up?" she asked arching her eyebrow. "I didn't know we were together."

"Elizabeth!" he groaned. "You know what I mean."

She took another step towards him and wrapped her hand around the pool stick he was tightly holding onto. "I just wanted to play a few games of pool."

He removed his hands from the stick and stepped around her. She assessed the table and decided to take a shot from where she was standing, giving Jason a perfect view of her behind as she shimmied into position. Why did he have to be so damn weak is what he kept asking himself. Unable to control his thoughts any longer he spoke, "You look nice… uh, you're shirt…" he trailed off as she took the shot, missing the ball she was aiming for and sending the cue ball into the center pocket.

She looked over her shoulder at him as she stood from her missed shot. She could tell that he remembered, "You know, not many men remember things like that… especially when I didn't wear it for very long."

'_How could I forget_' he thought to himself. "So you think if you wear a shirt that I'm going to change my mind?" he spat.

She laughed as she handed him the pool stick so he could take his turn, "If it was that easy I'd have worn it a long time ago." She gently brought her fresh beer to her lips and took a small sip. "I like this shirt and the memories it carries." She whispered. He was not sure if she'd meant for him to hear her or not but he did.

"So you and Carly are buddies now?" he asked.

She shrugged, "I was actually annoyed the other day when I came home and she was waiting for me on my porch. I thought she was there to start another one of her fights for something dumb. Once she explained why she was there I was actually thankful that she'd come to me… that she'd involved me. We've always overlooked the fact that we had you in common, instead using that as a means to an argument. We both love you and I don't think that will ever change for us or for you. I guess you helped us both grow up."

Jason turned his eyes from hers and took a shot, this time successfully knocking his target into the corner pocket. He walked around to the other side of the table and lined up another shot. Of course when he bent over the table and looked to the other end, he saw her intently watching him. He missed his shot.

"My turn." Elizabeth cheered and jumped off the stool. She reached for the stick, this time brushing her hands against his as she took it from him. His eyes closed briefly at her touch, something that did not go unnoticed by her.

Downing the rest of his beer, he watched her take another shot, missing. Then it was his turn again and they went back and forth for a while without many words. After one of his shots, he looked back to her, waiting for her to get up and take her turn. Instead she smiled, a devious smile, "Wanna take another shot Jason?" she asked.

Jason stared at her. He knew he was not reading too much into her question because her expression spoke volumes. She was not talking about a game of pool anymore. "NO!" he growled and tossed the stock on the table. He walked over to the small bar table and drank the end of his beer.

He quickly grew tense, attempting to avoid the hidden meaning in her question. She again read him like a book, "Well you'd better decide what you want to do because when I tell everyone about Jake…"

He slammed his bottle on the table causing her to jump and stop what she was saying, "We're leaving!" he rumbled. She opened her mouth to argue with him but he stopped her, "Let's go, I'll follow you home to make sure you get there safe then I am going home and you ARE going to stay away."

Elizabeth slid off the stool, "Fine." Another one of her sneaky smiles formed on her lips, "But I left my house keys at your place so I need to stop there first."

"I'll pick the lock at your house and have them brought over tomorrow." Jason sighed.

She shook her head, "No, I'll come over and get them tonight. If we aren't going to have contact then that includes all of your employees too."

* * *

"Where are they?" Jason asked as they walked through the door.

Elizabeth looked around his Livingroom and tapped her pointer finger on her chin, "Where did I leave them?" she wondered out loud.

Jason stood for a few seconds watching her. Realization hit him, "Wait a minute, you went home and changed after you left here and before you showed up at Jakes."

A huge smile formed on her face. "Duh, I completely forgot. They must be in the bottom of my purse."

Jason shook his head, "Elizabeth!"

"You said that this is it for us and what is wrong with wanting to prolong our time together a little bit longer? If I had gone home… I don't know… I just didn't want to and if you change the locks tomorrow then my key wont work anymore." She said with a chuckle then suddenly grew nervous and looked down at her hands. "Jason, I couldn't say goodbye… again."

Jason turned away from her and walked to the door of his balcony. Without turning to look back at her, he spoke, "Elizabeth, this is what I did not want to happen. I did not want you to get hurt again."

"And you are going to get hurt again too." She added. "We did this, I'm sorry that me and Carly are hurting you again."

Jason looked over his shoulder at her then. "You mean you aren't going to go public with Jake?"

She shrugged, "I would never go against your wishes Jason… not on something like that."

They stayed there, silent, for a long time… neither speaking and neither wanting to leave. Eventually, she was the one that moved, crossing the room to stand behind him. She touched his arm and he flinched so she pulled her hand back. A few seconds later she touched him again but this time he did not flinch. He could not bring himself to turn around and look at her because he knew he would not have the will power to have her so close and not take her in his arms.

"Jason?" she whispered. Her voice was so soft and harmonic to him. It made him ache, it made him weak, and it made him want to hear it every day. He did not turn around to look at her but she continued anyway. "Can you hold me one last time. Can you hold me like you did last night? I promise to leave in the morning."

* * *

Sorry to leave it there but I like to be a tease! He is such a weak man.


	9. Chapter 9

So, there isn't much dialog in this chapter but who needs dialog, lol!

I definitely think you all give Jason too much credit, lol... he is weak and can't hold out for too long with her as we all know from the studio scene and straddle scene last fall. So, on with the chapter!

Chapter 9

Jason felt the bed shift. He'd been sitting on the edge of the bed facing the bathroom since they came in his room. He didn't know what he was doing. He just kept hearing a voice in his head calling him a 'fucking weak asshole'.

Without turning to see, he knew that she had finally sat down on the bed as well. He'd given her a paid of sweatpants that were too small on him because they shrunk too much. Turning his head he saw that she'd taken off the green button up tank top and was wearing a plain, thin white tank top with his pants. Letting out a sigh, he quickly removed his plain black t-shirt and tossed it across the room on the chair. He pulled back the blanket and slid beneath it. Elizabeth had been laying on her side and she instantly rolled into him. Her hand slid across his abs and stopped on his chest, just over his heart. The path her hand had taken left his skin burning in it's wake. He wrapped his arm around her waist and her head came to rest on his shoulder.

She smelled like heaven, it was a subtle cross of vanilla and something else that was purely her. He was sure it was not something that could be bought in a bottle otherwise he'd buy it.

Against his better judgment, he slipped his hand under the bottom seam of her tank top so it could rest on the bare skin at the small of her back. Her skin was softer then the finest silk. It killed him that he hadn't spent more time with her when he could. Last year when they were meeting at the safe house there were so many times that he had to cancel on her because of work and Sonny. All those months they could have spent more time together and he took it for granted. Not to take away from the time that they did spend together but he just wished there was more back then and now.

After a short time he heard her breathing grow deeper and he knew she was asleep. Knowing that sleep was improbable, he sighed and concentrated on how she felt and how it felt to hold her. Tomorrow everything would go back to how it had been so he needed to imprint everything about her into his memory. When he ended everything with her all those many months ago, he did not have the chance to touch and hold her one final time. This time he was not going to miss his chance. Elizabeth shifted, rolling in his arms. He followed her sleeping lead and ended up with his chest against her back, spooning her.

As seconds turned to minutes, then minutes to hours, he knew his time with her was growing short. She moved again, rolling onto her other side so that she was now facing him, her nose within a mere inches from his. His hand smoothed over her hips and around her back as he moved his body closer to hers. He felt like he was playing with matches next to an open gas tank but he could not help it. Closing his eyes for a few moments he took a few deep breaths to relax. He repeatedly reminded himself why he was pushing her away for the final time.

Before his eyes could open, he felt her warm hand on his side. It was not a sleeping hand but a hand seeking a touch. His eyes opened to find her head tilted toward her exploring hand as it slid along his side and around to his chest.

Jason swallowed to rid his throat of the lump that was forming there. It returned when her eyes lifted to meet his. After gazing into each others eyes, she slid her arm around his chest and rested her palm against his spine. Her body molded itself to him and she buried her face into his neck. "I don't want this night to end." Elizabeth mumbled into his neck, her warm breath sending a chill down his spine only to be warmed by her hand resting there. Instead of voicing his agreement, he held her tighter to him. "Have you slept at all?" she asked as her leg slid over his, hooking behind his knee.

He struggled but their bodies were so close, it was making it difficult to keep his body from responding. "No." he managed to whisper.

She tipped her head back and looked into his eyes. "I'm scared Jason." She whispered as tears formed in her eyes. "But I'm not scared of the danger… I-I'm scare of losing you."

Jason could feel his heartbeat increase. With their chests pressed firmly together he could feel hers racing as well. Showing emotion was not something he ever did, except for rare occasions and as much as he fought it, his eyes filled with tears as well. All of the emotion and sadness from the past months pooled in his eyes at that moment. His eyes closed, willing the moisture to leave but it did not stop a few tears from escaping. Elizabeth brought her hand to his face and wiped his cheeks and he did the same for her wet cheeks. His hand returned to her back but her hand stayed on his cheek then traced his jaw line before threading her fingers through is hair.

Keeping his eyes closed, he was torn by the feeling of her touch and willing his muscles to work so he could move away from her. In the end he gave into feeling when he felt her lips touch his. She did not move to deepen the kiss or move her lips over his. It was as if she was waiting for him to respond. "Just let it go Jason." She whispered against his lips. Her fingernails raked across his scalp, her other arm found his over the pillows and she laced her fingers through his. "J-a-s-o-n" she whimpered against his lips again and the sound of her voice saying his name with so much need was all he could take.

His lips slowly moved with hers, bringing her plump lower lip between his. She let out a soft sigh when he finally responded to her advance. It was Jason that moved to deepen the kiss when he coaxed her lips open with his own. His tongue slid past her lips to mate with hers and he could feel a flutter in his stomach at the sensation. Kisses with Elizabeth were perfection… they were drugging. He could not maintain a coherent thought as her hand slid from his hair, down his neck and her palm came to rest on his chest over his racing heart. She gently pushed on his chest, urging him on his back. At first he resisted but she managed to distract him with their kiss and without even knowing it realized he was on his back and she was spread over him.

He slid his hands behind her head, grabbing fistfuls of her hair to separate them. Their eyes met and she must have sensed his hesitation because she whispered, "Just give in Jason… this one time." She leaned forward and kissed his chin, "I need you." She said in a throaty tone. He was done… the same hands that he'd used to pull her away from his lips were now urging her mouth back to meet his. Jason released her hair and placed his hands on her lower back, gently sliding her shirt up to expose the silky skin of her stomach. Her hips shifted and brushed against his growing hard on, causing him to moan.

She pressed her hips firmly against his and lifted her upper body up just long enough for him to pull her tank top over her head. He moaned when she fell back onto his chest and he felt her bare breasts press against his own bare chest. Her lips found his again and she nibbled his bottom lip before pressing a trail of kisses along his jaw line. He was distracted by the feel of her back under his rough hands as she shimmied out of her very oversized sweatpants.

There was no turning back and he knew it. As soon as her lips met his he was done. He knew the first time would be quick but he would make it up the second and hopefully third time. They had only a few hours to spend together before they parted again, probably and most likely forever. If she was willing to give herself to him, he was too weak and too willing to pass it up.

Sliding his hands down her back to cup her round bottom, he groaned when he found her without panties. Had she removed them with the sweatpants or omitted them before bed altogether. Her hips ground against his erection and she pecked him one last time on his mouth before lifting her upper body so she was straddling him. He wanted nothing more then to spend all night exploring her body and memorizing every inch but they both knew that they could not wait for that this time. With her knees resting on either side of his thighs, she grabbed the waistband of his pants and tugged them down just far enough to release him from the heavy material.

He watched her beauty as she rose on her knees and positioned herself over him. His hands found her knees, slid up and over her thighs, over her hips, around to her stomach and stopped when they came to rest over her breasts. She closed her eyes, momentarily stopping her movement to enjoy the sensation of his hands on her body after so much time. She whispered his name and arched her back as his thumbs brushed over the tight peaks. Her eyes opened and locked with his as she positioned him at her center. Something caused her hesitation, "You didn't… with anyone… maybe some bar girl or…"

He brought a hand to cup her cheek and whispered in a husky voice, "I could never be with anyone else… ever."

He could see the relief in her eyes as she dropped her knees from her side and took all of him in with one swift movement. They both swore at the familiar sensation of their bodies joined together. He could already feel that he was losing control and would not last very long. Gripping her hips, he waited till she was ready and started moving. Her palms rested on his chest but he needed more. He lifted his upper body off the bed so he could feel her breasts rub against his chest as her body moved over his. His lips searched out hers and he kissed her fiercely as she found a rhythm. The whispered their love as they both quickly approached the precipice. Elizabeth's hands held onto his shoulders as she arched her body back and increased her force and speed. Her nails dug into his skin when the coil burst and her orgasm flowed through her body. Jason held his hands in her hairs and they watched each other, first as the tremors shook her body and then when he quickly followed, releasing deep inside her.

Elizabeth fell forward and he pulled her back with him. He was on his back again and they were still joined as she rested her head on his chest, her breathing heavy like his.

They didn't speak, neither needed words because they each knew how the other was feeling without them saying it. Jason pulled the blanket up to cover her bare back while they recovered, knowing full well that they were just getting started for the night… their last night.

* * *

Thank you all for the awesome reviews!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The night went by so fast. Sure they'd made love multiple times, to the point that Jason was sure she'd be sore the next day, but he wanted more. It was not something the could have and as he fell asleep one last time with her in his arms he knew it would be the last.

Only a few hours late he woke to a sense of emptiness. Without even opening his eyes, he knew she was gone. Last night hurt him and he was sure it hurt her in the end as well, it gave them both one last chance to know what they'd be missing out on for the rest of their lives. It was selfish but he could not regret it, he would never forget it either.

His eyes opened and he looked around the room. Left on the bed was just the top sheet, the blanket had completely fallen off the bed along with most of the pillows during their many sessions through the night. On the night stand there was a piece of paper with a note scribbled on it. Of course she would not wake him up and make it any harder for either of them. He reached for the note and read it. 'I will always love you and wait for you. I hope some day you can find a way, you know where to find me. All my love, Elizabeth.'

* * *

Three months later

It was late into the night and Jason still sat in his office reviewing invoices for the week's shipments. Over the past few months he had poured himself into his work. It kept him from self destruction and wallowing in the deep depression he was in. He'd work late every night, go home and work out then go to bed and repeat it all the next day. It did not help with the thoughts or emotions he felt but keeping busy ensure he wouldn't wind up at a bar or drunk to the point he could barely walk. He had stayed away from alcohol except for the occasional beer. If he started to feel overwhelmed he would punish his punching bag or go for a long run.

Despite his new found Zen-like exterior, he was still a wreck inside. Ever since their night together he had gotten worse. She was all he thought about and he felt like he had hurt her even more by letting her stay over that final night and giving into his emotions.

Finally locking up the office, he decided to walk on the docks before heading home for the night. Fall had hit Port Charles in full force over the last week, the leaves were changing and the air grew colder.

The business was amazingly doing well. He found it amazing that when Sonny was running the organization they had nothing but conflict, ever since Jason had run the Russians out of town there had been none. Jason had made his impact and everyone knew that he was fierce. Of course every time he thought about the status of the business he head instantly flashed to Elizabeth. Things were safe now but would they stay that way? If he knew it would, would she even take him back now?

His quick walk on the docks turned into him sitting on a bench for over an hour looking out at the water. He had toyed with the thought of showing up at her house and throwing caution to the wind. In the end he would ultimately tell himself that even though things were safe and quiet now, it would not always be that way. Inevitably a threat would come along and that scared the hell out of him. At the same time, the thought of a life without Elizabeth made his stomach turn in knots. That was what was on his mind constantly for the past few months. He teased himself by allowing their night together and while he was so grateful for it, at the same time it made him even more sad.

Making his way back to the coffee shop, Jason climbed on his bike and pulled out onto the empty streets. He rode straight through town and continued toward the country roads on the outskirts of the city. Minutes later he was there, he cut the roaring motor and coasted just around the corner of her street. Her house was set back on the lot and hidden behind a line of pine trees but the shield did not hide the light that Jason saw in the upstairs window, a window that he knew as her bedroom. It was late, after midnight but she was still awake. He wondered what she was doing and wanted nothing more then to find out.

Jason pushed his bike off the road and into a row of trees. He didn't know why he was hiding it but just felt like he should. He turned back to the road and sat on the curb adjacent to her driveway. The neighborhood was quiet, full of large lots and homes hidden in the abundant trees and shrubs that covered their lots. It was because of the privacy surrounding the homes that Jason did not worry about anyone seeing him sitting on a curb in the middle of the night. Jason sat and the minutes ticked away. He stared at her window wondering what she was doing and what she had been doing for the past three months, actually for the past nine months.

As much as he did not want to admit it, Carly and Elizabeth had saved him. He was on a downward spiral, a one was ticket to Shadybrook was in his hands and they swept in and snatched it from him. Carly had initiated it but it was Elizabeth in the end that caught him before he hit bottom.

Jason looked up and felt butterflies. His feet had moved on their own accord and he found himself a few steps from her porch. There was so much more to life that he just had not been allowing himself to have, most importantly a family.

So here he stood, steps away from a possible future, a fulfilling life that would be a dream come true and he could not take the last steps. He kept hearing his own voice in his head listing off the reasons why they should not be together and why he should not even be at her house at that minute, endangering her and her boys. Despite all of the things he was hearing, the feet that had brought him to his exact spot could not move him back across the street. There was a force holding him there, unmoving.

Moments later the front door opened and Elizabeth appeared behind the clear glass of the storm door. Every time he saw her he told himself that his memories did not do her justice. She was so much prettier in person then she was in his memories, another downfall of being apart. They silently stared at each other through the door, Elizabeth likely afraid he'd leave and he was afraid to leave but at the same time afraid to stay. How did she know he was out here? Had she seen him all along or just happen to be passing a window as he approached the porch?

It was Elizabeth that was the one that moved to rid the barrier between them. With a shaky hand, she reached for the door and opened it. "D-do you want to come in?"

Jason nodded but didn't move. It was true that he wanted to go in her house and never leave but knew that he shouldn't.

When he didn't make a move, she stepped out the door. He could see her legs shaking, which was probably why she sat on the top step of the porch. Her elbows rested on her knees and she leaned forward shivering from nervousness.

"I…" Jason started but his voice cracked. He shoved his hands in his pockets, cleared his throat and continued. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't be here, I don't know why I'm here."

Elizabeth looked down at her hands and nervously picked at her fingernails, "I was just inside thinking about you when I got thirsty. I came down to the kitchen and saw you walking across the yard." Her eyes lifted from her hands and ran over the length of his body, "You look good."

Jason nodded, "So, so do you."

Elizabeth let out a nervous chuckle. He shifted his weight on his feet and looked across the yard, removing his eyes from her. Being here was like waving a bag of drugs in front of an addict. "I knew you'd come." She said in a strong voice. It made his head turn quickly to look at her. "I don't know how but when I left that morning I knew it wasn't for good. I don't know where it came from but there was this feeling in my gut that told me that you'd show up some day."

She stood from the step and continued, "So my question is… is the visit over?"

"I can't." he whispered, closing his eyes.

"You can't?" she questioned. "But you are here… then why are you here Jason?"

He shrugged.

She was obviously growing agitated with his indecisiveness. His mouth said one thing but his presence outside her home said something different. He silently cursed himself. "So what, are you here for a quick romp to get you through another few months? Or are you here to just reiterate the fact that we can't see each other… something you are contradicting by just being here."

"I…" he started but she lifted her hand to quiet him.

"I didn't mean that, I know you would never use me for sex. You just, you have to understand my frustration. We end it, supposedly for good… again, but then you show up here. So which is it?"

He takes a few steps forward and sits on the step she had been sitting on, leaving enough room for her to sit beside him. She saw his invitation and sat beside him, her left arm was flush against his right, her left thigh flush against his right. "Elizabeth… I don't know why I'm here. Something pulled me here. There is no doubt that I love you and want to be with you… you know that."

She nodded, "I do." Reaching for his hand, she took his right hand and held it between both of hers. "Jason, this is it. After tonight you can't do this anymore, just like you said to me when I showed up at you place. Unless…"

His head hung low but he turned to look at her, waiting for her to continue. "Unless you want to try this different and maybe we will have better luck." He gave her a puzzled glance, "Jason, w-will you marry me?"

Her hands tightened around his and he was sure she could feel his hand tense up at her question. He'd asked her so many times and never expected her to ask him. His mouth went dry and he felt like he had swallowed a golf ball. "Wha-"

Elizabeth released his hand and stood up, turning in front of him so that she could face him. "There is more…" She protectively crossed her arms over her chest. "If you hadn't shown up here, I knew you would eventually cause it would have gotten back to you. That feeling in my gut that I'd see you again, there was more to it. I didn't do this to trick you and to be honest I was so in the moment that it really did not cross my mind." She rambled. She looked in Jason's eyes and saw the recognition, he knew what she was about to say and he was as shocked as she was when she'd figured it out herself. "I'm pregnant."

Jason's heart was racing.

"Please know that I didn't do this on purpose, I'm so sorry. I can come up with some story on who the father is, I don't know what but I will." She said as tears formed in her eyes.

He cupped his hands over his face then in a split second, he practically jumped from his seat on the step. "Looks like our decision was made up for us, fate has stepped in."

Elizabeth looked at him with hope and he finished. "We need to get married right away, like tonight. You and the boys need to stay with me at the Penthouse until the house can be outfitted with security."

She took a step toward him, "So that's it?"

"I want this and I know you do too. We just got the push that we both needed, maybe that I needed. There is no turning back Elizabeth." He said in a firm voice that she had not heard from him in a long time.

"Would you have just left if I didn't tell you about the baby?"

He lifted a hand to her cheek, "I think the minute I got on my bike tonight that I knew deep down we'd be right here… the pregnancy wasn't necessarily anticipated but subconsciously I wanted this. Maybe that is why neither of us even thought once about birth control. I love you and having another baby with you would be amazing." He slid his hand past her cheek and around the back of her head. He pulled her body flush against his and wrapped both arms around her. Two nights changed his life, the first was the night of the blackout when they made Jake. The second was the night three months ago that they made the baby she was now carrying. This night was just the solution to the puzzle they had been trying to solve for ten years.

The End!

And so it ends, quicker then I am used to. I'm not used to quickies;) I didn't want to draw this out and bore everyone with jason's miserable loneliness any longer. I'm going to spend some time (for a change) just focusing on one fic (The Truth in a Memory) for a while and giving myself a semi-break. Check it out if you haven't yet, I'll be updating it, hopefully, tomorrow.

As for my next fic, I'm leaning toward a sequel to this one, maybe from Elizabeth's POV, exploring her relationship with carly and everything that happened, finding out she was pregnant and all that but from her perspective. Either way it will be at least a couple weeks before I start to even plan it out.

As always, thank you all for the fantastic reviews... you all stroke my ego.


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